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Dealing
with Difficult People
Corporate Effectiveness Relationship Strategies
Corporate Relationship Coaching
Strategies
of Conflict Resolution, Assertiveness Training and Team
Dynamics
Ray Maxwell, Coach and Trainer,
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
ABOUT COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Amongst the skills ought to be mastered
by the effective corporate citizen is
Effectively Relating to Difficult People.
In addition to understanding and mastering normal Dynamics of
Group Development,
achieving functional outcomes with Difficult Personalities
should be proficiently mastered.
IDENTIFYING
THE NEED, AND ACQUIRING THE SKILLS:
Conflict Resolution Outcomes can be enhanced by practicing the
skills of “Dealing with Difficult People”.
Such people are variously described as Passive, Stubborn,
Negligent, Disorganized, Distracting, Uncooperative, and
No-Follow-Through. Other descriptive words include,
importantly the “Bullies”:
Bully Boss, Bully Co-worker, even Bully Wife/Husband. Skillful
non-aggressive behavioral
strategies,
which are essentially assertive conflict resolution
strategies, can often resolve impasses. Whether you
are
boss or manager, peer or mate, employee or subordinate,
Difficult People can make you feel reluctant
to even show up. A sure sign is when you feel frustration or
helplessness just thinking of that person or situation!
HOW
TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IS BOTH AND ART AND AN ATTITUDE.
Those often successful in using conflict resolution
techniques create behavioral change, not just of self, but
also
behavior change in the so-called "difficult people".
Your having effective and flexible skillsets can result
in
the difficult people become less difficult, and manifesting
less of their difficult behaviour. An interesting form is
success,
often seen, is what the difficult person discovers that their
particular "dragon personality" no longer has the
advantage over you! Seeing you unaffected, they will sometime
change their behaviour! Even if not, at least they will see
you unaffected, which
is also to your advantage! This can result in resolution of
the conflict, and in your own confidence and pride
increasing.
Your fear or shame can decreasing, as you discover, to your
pleasure, that you are less affected, now that you know
how to manage this difficult person!
Backstabbers,
Attention Grabbers, Exploders and Wafflers are amongst
the names given to various difficult people types.
Ray Maxwell can teach you methods that will likely be helpful
for dealing with any of them.
Wafflers,
who don't say exactly what they want, will cause you
frustration, too. (The list of difficult types continues;
there is an often-helpful strategy for every one!)
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TRAINING
AND CONSULTATION CONTEXTS
Ray Maxwell will meet with one person in consultation, with
two people who are in conflict - with each other, or with an
outside person or situation; or with groups; teams; boards:
families, or family businesses. By demonstrating, teaching
principles, and conducting practice, he will enable those
attending to become more effective in "Dealing With
Difficult People” and mastering “Conflict Resolution”.
Whether
dealing with difficult people at work, family, or with
friends, this same skill and knowledge base,
"How to Deal with Difficult People,” is requiring, with
adaptations to those different contexts.
"Passive
Resistance" can be a type of bullying, too!
Bully
Boss, A Workplace Bully, A Girl Bully, School Bully have a lot
in common. Even a Boardwalk Bully, or Cyber Bully! Likewise
Exploders in business, families, or schools!
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* * * *
ABOUT
BULLYING "Bully Boss" is a frequently
troublesome problem. For an employee to manage Conflict
Resolution from "one-down" power differential
position requires learning to apply these strategies while
manifesting suitable respect.
Alternatively,
if a Bully Boss decided to change, this requires a similar
sensitivity. In both cases, this is very desirable, because,
as discussed below, a One-Up attitude may get compliance, but
seldom optimum effectiveness!Getting the best from your
people, from the position of Manager, Leader, or Parent, is an
art that requires skilfully managing this power differential.
Both
the On-Up and One-Down situations frequently result in
barely-functional compliance/defiance role locks,
where the "vying for power" blurs the information
exchanged. It is far better to get work done through the
effective and clear exchange of real information, and
conscious commitment to do the required work! Yvonne
Agazarian, Systems-Centered® Therapy and Training has
this process well documented. Understanding the moves of this
dance can add significant efficiency towards achieving trust,
real teamwork, and the joy of significant accomplishment.
Any
person, couple, group, team, or board would be well advised to
get past " Interpersonal Barriers" and
"Information Barriers" by utilizing well-formed
conflict resolution steps, in favor of functional roles that
bypass even power differentials, enabling participants to
accomplish useful work
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WHY DIFFICULT BEHAVIORS?
Difficult
Behaviors comes from a combination of at least four motives:
- When people
can get away with them, they like the feeling for power.
- When people
feel out of control, they may use the difficult people
behavior to regain control.
- When people
are unaware of the consequences of their behavior.
- When people
have “another agenda”, that is, where productivity or
conflict resolution is not their priority.
Ray
Maxwell, when teaching in groups, creates a Conflict
Resolution Team Work, to study conflict resolution and steps
towards learning how to effectively cope with difficult
people. Learning the skills of mediation and conflict
resolution strategies, whether family conflict resolution,
marriage counselling conflict resolution, boards dysfunction,
or workplace conflict resolution, can be very helpful in
accomplishing business, personal and group goals. Through
theory, practice, and role-play, you can learn
impasse-breaking skills, and often then find yourself in the
midst of more opportunity, receiving extra respect from your
having demonstrated your effectiveness, and shared delight
amongst you and your fellow team members about all that you
are accomplishing!
You
may even discover, as you change to using more effective
strategies, that despite your good intentions, you were being
a difficult person!
Having
this solid basis of understanding can help you to disentangle
yourself and better see your way towards defined and
ultimately more satisfying goals and accomplishments, in your
business, board, group, family life, or personal
relationships.
Effectively
dealing with difficult people liberates your energy available
for accomplishing your goals.
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Mr. Maxwell will assist executives, boards, committees,
groups, businesses, including family business,
individuals, pairs and dyads of all sorts, triads, couples,
families, etc. Special meetings can be arranged, for making
ongoing relationships more functional, or for training
meetings/workshops for people to learn these skills in their
workplace or home environment.
Brainstorming,
Nominal
Group, Delphi
Method, Syntegration(r),
Work
Group Development, are available skills.
Call Ray Maxwell for a frank discussion.
Let's begin by defining the situation:
Problem outline. Parameters.
Problem to whom? How significant?
Potential for change ... .
Our goal will be to create well-designed actions
that will likely achieve the needed changes.
* * * * * CONTACT RAY MAXWELL * * * * *
For free private enquiry:
Ray Maxwell's direct phone number (416) 487-2125.
Private email Ray@Ray-Maxwell.com.
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* * * * FEE SCHEDULE * * * * *
RATES
at Ray Maxwell's office,
Location Kipling & Eglinton, Toronto M4P 1V2
Initial Assessment
$150
Per 50-minute-hour $100
Extended meeting up to 3 hours $275
RATES
at your office, or offsite:
Initial Assessment
$225
Hourly rate
$200
1/2 Day (3 hours)
$550
Whole day (6 hours) $1000
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About
Ray Maxwell - Corporate Experience and Background
About Ray Maxwell "Psychology Study"
About
InRelationship Coaching, Consulting and Training
  
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