Dealing with Difficult People

Strategies of Conflict Resolution, Assertiveness Training and Team Dynamics

Ray Maxwell, coach and trainer, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Conflict resolution can be accomplished by using the skills of dealing with difficult people. Passive, stubborn, negligent, disorganized, distracting, uncooperative, no-follow-through are terms used. Sometimes its "bully boss", 'bully co-worker", a "bully wife", or other difficult people types. You can get "assertiveness training" together with specific behavioural changes that become a conflict resolution strategy which will resolve most any impasse.   Whether you are boss or manager, peer or mate, employee or subordinate, difficult people can make you feel reluctant to even show up. A sure sign is your feeling of frustration or helplessness just thinking of that person or situation!

How to deal with difficult people is both art and an attitude. These often successful conflict resolution techniques create behavior change, not just of yourself, but also behavior change in the so-called "difficult people". And as difficult people become less difficult, and manifest less inappropriate behavior, they will often discover that their particular "dragon personality" no longer has the advantage with you! Many will then change it! ... or at least, they will see you unaffected, and that's an advantage! This can result in resolution of the conflict and you will notice you own confidence and pride increasing, and your fear or shame decreasing, as you discover, to your pleasure, that you now know better how to manage difficult people!

Backstabbers, attention grabbers, exploders and wafflers are some other examples of names given to various difficult people types, and there are many. Max Maxwell can teach you a methods for dealing with all of them. He will meet with you alone in consultation, with you and another person with whom you are in conflict, or whole groups, teams, even families in conflict, regardless of the context. Max calls his method "Dealing With Difficult People - conflict resolution training".

It is surprising that whether you are dealing with difficult people at work, family, or friends, the skills and knowledge base called "how to deal with difficult people" is similar, requiring only that you apply conceptualizing adaptations of these conflict resolution strategies for impasses encountered in those different contexts.

BULLYING You may be interested to know that a "bully boss" very frequently a troublesome problem. And this makes sense. Conflict resolution from a "one-down" position requires learning more than "assertiveness training"; you must manifest the appropriate respect while begin quite strategic! This is actually not so complex, and very learnable. Managing people from a one-up - managerial or parent role - is no less difficult but just as do-able! You will learn to apply a well-established set of conflict resolution steps carried out very consciously that are appropriate to the roles and power differential.

It is important to understand that "passive resistance" can be a type of bullying, too!

These difficult behaviors are easier to understand when you notice the reasons why people do them. For example, bullying
comes from a combination of at least four motives:

• They can get away with it, and like the power
• They feel out of control and they use the difficult people behavior to regain control
• They are unaware of the consequences of their behavior.
• They have another agenda where productivity or conflict resolution is not the priority.

A bully boss, a workplace bully, a girl bully, and a school bully have a lot in common. Even a boardwalk bully, or cyber bully! Likewise exploders in business, families, or schools!

Wafflers everywhere, who don't say exactly what they want, will cause you frustration, too. (The list of difficult types continues; there is a strategy for every one! )

Ray Maxwell, when teaching in groups, creates Conflict Resolution Team Work, the purpose of which is to study conflict resolution and steps towards effectively coping with difficult people. Learning the skills of mediation and conflict resolution strategies, whether family conflict resolution, marriage counselling conflict resolution, and workplace conflict resolution, are very helpful in accomplishing business, personal and group goals. Through theory, practice, and role-play, you can readily learn these impasse-breaking skills, until the the impasse starts to look like an opportunity. You will then often get respect from others from the way that you demonstrate your effectiveness! As you change your strategies, you may even discover, to your surprise, that there were ways in which you yourself were, outside of your best intention, being a difficult person!

Getting a clear view of goals and behavioral relevancy gives you a solid basis from which to see simple yet elegant methods with which you can at very least disentangle yourself. More likely you will become free from the negatives or frustrations of the impasse, now better able to now see your way towards better-defined and ultimately more satisfying goals and accomplishments in your business, group, personal, and family life.

Effectively dealing with difficult people liberates your energy available for accomplishing your goals.

ABOUT Ray Maxwell

More about Ray Maxwell "Psychology Study"

* * * * * FEE SCHEDULE * * * * *

Mr. Maxwell will assist individuals, groups, couples, families, boards, committees, etc.

RATES for GROUPS
Whole day (6 hours)                 $1200
1/2 Day (3 hours)                       $650
Hourly rate                                 $225

RATES for 1 or 2 persons
Per hour                                     $175
Tuesday, Thursday after 5 p.m.   $100

Mr. Maxwell's meeting rooms are at Dynamic Teambuilders,
located near Yonge and Eglinton in Toronto, Ontario.
Offsite meetings can also be arranged.

* * * * * CONTACT RAY MAXWELL * * * * *

For free private enquiry
Ray Maxwell's direct phone number is (416) 487-2125.
You can e-mail him at max@m-a-x-w-e-l-l.com.