Dealing with Difficult People
Corporate Effectiveness Relationship Strategies
Corporate Relationship Coaching

Strategies of Conflict Resolution, Assertiveness Training and Team Dynamics

Ray Maxwell, Coach and Trainer, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

ABOUT COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE 

Amongst the skills ought to be mastered
by the effective corporate citizen is
Effectively Relating to Difficult People.

In addition to understanding and mastering normal Dynamics of Group Development,
achieving functional outcomes with Difficult Personalities should be proficiently mastered.

IDENTIFYING THE NEED, AND ACQUIRING THE SKILLS:

Conflict Resolution Outcomes can be enhanced by practicing the skills of “Dealing with Difficult People”. 
Such people are variously described as Passive, Stubborn, Negligent, Disorganized, Distracting, Uncooperative, and No-Follow-Through. Other descriptive words include, importantly the “Bullies”:
Bully Boss, Bully Co-worker, even Bully Wife/Husband. Skillful non-aggressive  behavioral strategies, 
which are essentially assertive conflict resolution strategies, can often resolve impasses.  Whether you are 
boss or manager, peer or mate, employee or subordinate, Difficult People can make you feel reluctant 
to even show up. A sure sign is when you feel frustration or helplessness just thinking of that person or situation!

HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE IS BOTH AND ART AND AN ATTITUDE.
 Those often successful in using conflict resolution techniques create behavioral change, not just of self, but also 
behavior change in the so-called "difficult people". Your having effective and flexible skillsets can result in 
the difficult people become less difficult, and manifesting less of their difficult behaviour. An interesting form is success, 
often seen, is what the difficult person discovers that their particular "dragon personality" no longer has the advantage over you! Seeing you unaffected, they will sometime change their behaviour! Even if not, at least they will see you unaffected, which
is also to your advantage! This can result in resolution of the conflict, and in your own confidence and pride increasing. 
Your fear or shame can decreasing, as you discover, to your pleasure, that you are less affected, now that you know
how to manage this difficult person!

Backstabbers, Attention Grabbers, Exploders and Wafflers are amongst the  names given to various difficult people types. 
Ray Maxwell can teach you methods that will likely be helpful for dealing with any of them.

Wafflers, who don't say exactly what they want, will cause you frustration, too. (The list of difficult types continues; there is an often-helpful strategy for every one!)

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TRAINING AND CONSULTATION CONTEXTS
Ray Maxwell will meet with one person in consultation, with two people who are in conflict - with each other, or with an outside person or situation; or with groups; teams; boards: families, or family businesses. By demonstrating, teaching principles, and conducting practice, he will enable those attending to become more effective in "Dealing With Difficult People” and mastering “Conflict Resolution”.

Whether dealing with difficult people at work, family, or with friends, this same skill and knowledge base, 
"How to Deal with Difficult People,” is requiring, with adaptations to those different contexts.

"Passive Resistance" can be a type of bullying, too!

Bully Boss, A Workplace Bully, A Girl Bully, School Bully have a lot in common. Even a Boardwalk Bully, or Cyber Bully! Likewise Exploders in business, families, or schools!

* * * * *

ABOUT BULLYING  "Bully Boss" is a frequently troublesome problem. For an employee to manage Conflict Resolution from "one-down" power differential position requires learning to apply these strategies while manifesting suitable respect.

Alternatively, if a Bully Boss decided to change, this requires a similar sensitivity. In both cases, this is very desirable, because,
as discussed below, a One-Up attitude may get compliance, but seldom optimum effectiveness!Getting the best from your people, from the position of Manager, Leader, or Parent, is an art that requires skilfully managing this power differential.

Both the On-Up and One-Down situations frequently result in barely-functional compliance/defiance role locks, 
where the "vying for power" blurs the information exchanged. It is far better to get work done through the effective and clear exchange of real information, and conscious commitment to do the required work! Yvonne Agazarian, Systems-Centered® Therapy and Training has this process well documented. Understanding the moves of this dance can add significant efficiency towards achieving trust, real teamwork, and the joy of significant accomplishment.

Any person, couple, group, team, or board would be well advised to get past " Interpersonal Barriers" and "Information Barriers" by utilizing well-formed conflict resolution steps, in favor of functional roles that bypass even power differentials, enabling participants to accomplish useful work

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WHY DIFFICULT BEHAVIORS?

Difficult Behaviors comes from a combination of at least four motives:

• When people can get away with them, they like the feeling for power.
• When people feel out of control, they may use the difficult people behavior to regain control.
• When people are unaware of the consequences of their behavior.
• When people have “another agenda”, that is, where productivity or conflict resolution is not their priority.

Ray Maxwell, when teaching in groups, creates a Conflict Resolution Team Work, to study conflict resolution and steps towards learning how to effectively cope with difficult people. Learning the skills of mediation and conflict resolution strategies, whether family conflict resolution, marriage counselling conflict resolution, boards dysfunction, or workplace conflict resolution, can be very helpful in accomplishing business, personal and group goals. Through theory, practice, and role-play, you can learn impasse-breaking skills, and often then find yourself in the midst of more opportunity, receiving extra respect from your having demonstrated your effectiveness, and shared delight amongst you and your fellow team members about all that you are accomplishing!

You may even discover, as you change to using more effective strategies, that despite your good intentions, you were being a difficult person! 

Having this solid basis of understanding can help you to disentangle yourself and better see your way towards defined and ultimately more satisfying goals and accomplishments, in your business, board, group, family life, or personal relationships.

Effectively dealing with difficult people liberates your energy available for accomplishing your goals.

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Mr. Maxwell will assist executives, boards, committees, groups, businesses, including family business,  individuals, pairs and dyads of all sorts, triads, couples, families, etc. Special meetings can be arranged, for making ongoing relationships more functional, or for training meetings/workshops for people to learn these skills in their workplace or home environment.

Brainstorming, Nominal Group, Delphi Method, Syntegration^(r), Work Group Development, are available skills.

Call Ray Maxwell for a frank discussion.
Let's begin by defining the situation:
Problem outline. Parameters. 
Problem to whom? How significant? 
Potential for change ... .

Our goal will be to create well-designed actions 
that will likely achieve the needed changes.

* * * * * CONTACT RAY MAXWELL * * * * *

For free private enquiry:
Ray Maxwell's direct phone number (416) 487-2125.
Private email Ray@Ray-Maxwell.com.

* * * * * FEE SCHEDULE * * * * *

RATES at Ray Maxwell's office,
Location Kipling & Eglinton, Toronto M4P 1V2
Initial Assessment                       $150
            Per 50-minute-hour $100
Extended meeting up to 3 hours  $275

RATES at your office, or offsite:
Initial Assessment                       $225
Hourly rate                                 $200
1/2 Day (3 hours)                      $550
Whole day (6 hours) $1000

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About Ray Maxwell - Corporate Experience and Background

About Ray Maxwell "Psychology Study"

About InRelationship Coaching, Consulting and Training